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Nicole Martinez - Psychologist, LCPC

Dr. Nicole Martinez received her Masters and her Doctorate from Illinois School of Professional Psychology, and completed her pre-doctoral and post-doctoral fellowship at Gateway Foundation in Lake Villa, Illinois. She is a Professional Psychologist, an Adjunct Professor for 2 graduate programs, a Blogger for the Huffington Post, Everyday Power Blog, a Contributor to the Chicago Tribune, as well as numerous other publications.

Her therapeutic style can be described as integrative, assessing the needs and style that will best serve the individual client. She typically has a mix between Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy and various holistic approaches, including positive psychology. She believes in exploring the connection between the body and the mind to treat all the individuals’ needs. Her belief is that an individual must explore many areas of their functioning to ensure optimum health physically and emotionally. She is positively focused to help the client move forward in a productive way with their life, and past their current obstacles.

Areas of expertise: medical and health psychology, trauma and trauma focused CBT, depression, eating disorders, LGBT issues, anxiety, forensics, pain management, substance abuse, addictive issues, couples work, pain management, caregiver burn-out, sexual issues, special needs populations, and chronic medical issues.

  1. Welcome to Older Dating › 
  2. Nicole Martinez

Interview: Expert Thoughts on Over 40s Dating

What are the differences between under 40s online dating and over 40s online dating?

I feel as if the type of person you are likely to encounter, and their goals for a relationship are different over 40. People are more stable and established, more certain of what they want and need. They have "played the field," and do no want to play games anymore. They are looking for more substance.

How long do you think it typically takes singles over 40 to find a relationship using online dating, and why?

In my work, I have heard varying lengths. Some people get lucky i a few weeks, some it takes a few years. I think this is still better averages than if you were aimlessly out in the world trying to meet the person of your dreams. It makes people who are like-minded readily accessible.

Do you think there are different success rates for men and women over 40s when online dating? If yes, why?

That is a hard question, as it depends on what they determine success. If success is actively dating, being in a stable and steady relationship, or getting married, it can be all those things. It really depends on what the individual looks for, meaning all those things can be succes.

What's your no.1 tip for singles over 40 starting online dating?

A profile is you chance for someone to feel like they are getting to know you. Be thoughtful about it, let them see a little of who you are, what you are looking for, and what you enjoy. Theses are important for two reasons. You do not want to waste each others time if you have goals that are very far apart. The second reason is that some people will write 1-2 sentences, and this does not give a person any indication of who you are.

What is the number one mistake people over 40 make when online dating, and why?

Presenting themselves in a way other than who they authentically are. Don't embellish your attributes, and don't lie about things like, "I would consider having kids." if you know you never want them. You end up wasting both your time and very possibly having hurt feelings on both sides.

What's THE best question for singles over 40 to ask someone when messaging them for the first time online?

Two things pop into mind here:
1) What drew you to my profile? The answer to this answers a lot about a person's intentions and motivations.
2) What would you ideal date look like? While you may get some unrealistic and cheesy answers, at least it shows if they possess romance and creativity.

What is your most favourite over 40 online dating success story?

My own! I met my husband on a dating website, as have a number of my friends. We could not be more well suited to each other and I could not be more lucky. We have been married almost 4 years, and are incredibly happy. He is someone I would never believe existed, and even though we happened to grow up in the same town (strange but true), we would have never met had it not been for the site.

Dating Tips by Nicole Martinez:

I think one of the most important things you have to ask yourself is are you truly ready to date. Have you found closure from your previous relationship? Have you let anger and resentment go? Do you believe there is hope for a new future for you and someone else? If the answer to these questions is yes, you are probably ready to take a leap back out into the dating world. If it is early days, don't worry, a date does not have to equal a commitment, it can just be fun! There is absolutely wrong with trying a few different potential dates out, and just having an enjoyable time. Use this as a chance to narrow down what you do and do not like, and what you are and are not looking for. Most importantly, have fun! Don't put too much pressure on yourself! You are just starting out, this is the time when it is supposed to be easy and fun!

To maximise your chances of finding success, we've enhanced the member area of Older Dating to include members with all interests and characteristics. You can still use our search settings to find exactly who you're looking for.