Over 60s Dating Discussion with Relationship Experts
The trend for online dating for the over 60s is growing rapidly. Now mature daters expect more from their dating experience, safety, security, an easy user experience, and not to mention, a trustworthy pool of potential dates. We asked our trusted dating and relationship experts to share their thoughts on mature dating to help guide you through your online dating experience.
How long do you think it typically takes singles over 60 to find a relationship using senior online dating, and why?
B. Yvonne Lee, Author and Relationship Coach:It is less about time and more about how quickly they adapt to a new way of dating. There are those who jump in with enthusiasm and know exactly what they want. For these people, the process is more about sifting through to find what they want and should be relatively efficient. For others who are not used to dating online, not sure what they want from an online dating experience, etc it will take longer as they have a few other barriers to deal with besides just finding someone.
Amira Celon, Intuitive Medium & Relationship Expert:I think it could be quite fast as in inside 3-6 mths as most people who are mature know what they are looking for and what works for them.
Matthew Morgan, Relationship Expert:Depends on how serious the individual is on finding a companion. In my experience for those who are committed and using multiple services typically 4-6 months from start to success. A couple of months trial, error and disappointment. A couple of months of getting it right and going on dates. And a month or two of monogamous dating. Multiple sites is key to success as you broaden the field at first (first couple of months) and quickly work out which is more suited to you (next few months).
Do you think there are different success rates for men and women over 60 when senior online dating?
B. Yvonne Lee, Author and Relationship Coach:Yes, Men tend to have more 'success' when dating online no matter the age range because they are unashamedly clear about what they do and don't want. The definition of success differs for everyone.
Lisa Copeland, Best-selling Author, Speaker and Dating Expert:As a Dating Coach, I have found that the people who are the most successful have a clear vision of who they want. What's important is the values of the person you're dating and how you want to feel around them. Success really varies based on whether you're looking for the right qualities. If you're not having the success you want, or you feel discouraged or in a rut, find a good dating coach who can help you turn things around so you have fun finding the one.
What's your no.1 tip for singles over 60 starting senior online dating?
Lisa Copeland, Best-selling Author, Speaker and Dating Expert:The best thing you can do for yourself is to have great pictures because that's the first thing people see when they go online. We all make snap decisions based on these pictures, so no selfies with the toilet or bed in the background. That's a huge turn off! Instead, have someone who can take a great picture get a close up of your face so they can see your eyes and smile, as well as a full body photo.
Matthew Morgan, Relationship Expert:Your profile pic needs to be "you on a good day recently". Don't waste time (yours or anyone else's) using a photo of you 15 years ago... on vacation. It's even worth while having a professional do a collection for you (head shot, full body etc).
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, Psychologist, Relationship Expert & Author:Write ten people three times a week (so 30 a week) and give most people one date unless there are red flags. Be open to giving people a chance.
Sofia Milan, Author, Speaker, Coach, Lover of Life :Enlist a trusted friend in writing your online profile and choosing flattering yet accurate photos.
What is the number one mistake people over 60 make when senior online dating?
Lisa Copeland, Best-selling Author, Speaker and Dating Expert:The biggest mistake I see over and over again is not having an open mind when online dating. Profiles are one dimensional. You can't see a real personality, so if you're judging based on what you see online, that's like dating in your head only. In real life, the same person who you've turned away based on a picture and profile may be adorable. They could be a great match if they got to know them.
Matthew Morgan, Relationship Expert:Not putting enough time and effort into their profile. The more effort put into it the more success you'll get out. Also, ask for feedback when you meet people. It may be brutal, but it'll save much effort.
Sofia Milan, Author, Speaker, Coach, Lover of Life :Losing faith. Have faith no matter how long it takes! Have a positive attitude and consider it good practice as you learn how to date in the modern world.
What's the best question for senior singles over 60 to ask someone when messaging them for the first time online?
B. Yvonne Lee, Author and Relationship Coach:What do you like to do for fun? It is important to start off light and learn about the true person. Many people over 60 are moving from their career into retirement and are rediscovering or discovering for the first time hobbies and interest that they will want to share with the person they date. It is extremely important to resist the urge to delve into the career/family questions before determining if their idea of fun is similar to yours.
Matthew Morgan, Relationship Expert:We see a lot of success in the statement/question 1,2 approach. Make a statement and follow with an invite. For (basic) example - I like live music, what was the last music you saw live? This way, you've stated something you like, conveying your personality and asked them a question. Maybe they go all the time, maybe it's been forever. Either way if they are interested too, it leads to an opportunity to set up a date.
Sofia Milan, Author, Speaker, Coach, Lover of Life :Keep it targeted and light in the beginning. Read their profile and ask a specific question, like "I see you like movies. Me too! What was the last movie you saw?" This is easy to answer, so it is more likely to prompt a response.
What is your most favourite over 60 online dating success story?
Amira Celon, Intuitive Medium & Relationship Expert:My aunt who lost her husband was close friends with another couple and when the wife of that couple passed away the same year as my aunt's husband they got together and married soon after. They had know each other for over 40 years.
Lisa Copeland, Best-selling Author, Speaker and Dating Expert:A woman came to me after a really difficult marriage. She didn't feel good about herself and didn't know who she wanted in her life. Her original pictures and profile reflected that. She looked like a cowgirl in boots, jeans, and no makeup, which could be fine but they attracted no one. After working together on kindling her inner glow, getting her really clear on who she wanted, and who men are in their 50's, 60's, and 70's, she took new pictures. It was like a Cinderella transformation. She looked great and she really glowed. She ended up attracting an amazing man who she's in a relationship with now and she's very happy. It took doing the work on herself first to attract the love of her life.
Sofia Milan, Author, Speaker, Coach, Lover of Life :EVERY story is a success to me. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there! It can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude and learn something about yourself throughout the process. If you do that, then the experience is a success. This is definitely a time when you should relax and enjoy the journey.